calm before the storm

i have about 17 days until my english 103 class is over. i got to write 1 more essay, and a research paper. i have caught up in all of my reading, and i know ms. matthews will throw down homework assignments tomorrow night. i did my laundry, made some yummy dinner, and i got a strawberry shortcake from cafe tropical waiting for me in my fridge. i will consume this once i finish this....

but, i know it's been a minute since i've written in this. i've been crazy busy busting through my 8 week course at LACC. my teacher seems to amaze me each and every time i see her. the crush is still on, big time. she's a total geek. she LOVES talking about twilight, wayne's world and harry potter. it's great to see her respond to people's ignorance and not let it eat her up inside. i will do my best to get a photo with her before the semester is out. perhaps she'll think that's weird, but i guess i'll figure it out when i get there....

another turkey day has passed. i went to the bay area on turkey day morn, and hung out with my siblings in San Leandro, CA. the night before, i went out drinking with my buddy at el conquisador. two margaritas and two modelo lights later, i was packing my shit and got about 4 and a half hours of sleep. did my best to not let that show to my siblings when i got there. being hung over ain't what it used to be. seriously. it was great to see my nephews and nieces, along with seeing my fam and their partners. watching the way my sister conducts every turkey day celebration, it makes me think of what my boo and i will have in the future. the more i go back to the bay area, the more i realize that i don't belong there anymore. i will always hold the bay dear to my heart, it's my second home. i spent most of my adolescents figuring out my identity in the castro, mission, bernal heights, hunter's point, and OAKLAND 510. i could have not found a better city or community to do all of this in. but, i go through SERIOUS deja vu when i am up there. i know it's not the same as it was from 2005, but i'm just not looking at it the way i use to. i'm growning apart from the bay area. i guess my LA roots show more since i live down here. but, i do appreciate my SF/Bay Area highlights.

unfortunately, i didn't have much time to see all of the friends i wanted to. along with one of my siblings expressing that i didn't hang out with her as much. but, i can only learn from my mistakes. i need to plan my time better, and make sure i spend time with my true familia....

my mind can't compute anything else right now. i am planing to write more pop culture, music stuff within december. enjoy the last day of november. :-)

r.r.r.

p.s. i went to spaceland LA last night for a comedy show. i HEART tim heidecker

Tim Heidecker Stand Up 9 from Tim Heidecker on Vimeo.

good times

Happy 37th Birthday Rebecca!!! You're an amazing mother, great sister, and true friend. You rock!!! 2010 will be the year for ya!!

the harsest thing i ever had to write...

Hey there,

Your last email left me speechless. I feel you're out of touch with yourself, and your own feelings. I take full accountability with my defensiveness via Twitter.. Our conversation went BEYOND Fergie's biphobia. Biphobia was my OG point, but I couldn't say that because I was too frustrated. Here are the 3 things that bothered me about your tweets/emails...

#1 - you made my OWN experience of coming out yours, only for YOUR benefit. I'm not shamed on how I came out. I think you do though, since I confided in YOU. Do you think your the ONLY person that knows about my queer/bi identity at that age? Don't flatter yourself. Coming out is ONE of the numerous layers of TBQLG community. My quality friends, and my boo know this. Unfortunately I thought you were quality, and learned the hard way, you're not. Your tweet is proof of that. I would NEVER use your personal drama, to prove that I am right.

#2 - I stooped to your immature level. I kept reacting, just like YOU. I made this realization when I woke up on Thursday morning....BUT....unfortunately, you insisted your point wasn't clear enough. Your EMAIL was filled with consistent attacks, couched with touchy-feely language. Your angry tone was particularly toxic, because it invalidates anyone else existence, but YOUR OWN. You didn't even give me a chance to apologize, you consistently repeated, and pushed your points onto me, without acknowledging your abusive tone. That's fucked up.

#3 - You have absolutely NO IDEA how to be an ally about a social cause that doesn't personally affect you. You make suggestions to me ALL OF THE TIME on where I can read about Burma. I listen and I obey, because that's what a true ally does for any social cause they can't relate to. Unfortunately, you can't do this. Remember: this started because YOU didn't like the invite of a FB group I joined. I'm not trying to minimizing your reasoning, but YOU didn't think that particular group chose the "right" words to get their msg across. Not cool. I would never have the balls to speak about how you should change the title of BGAN or any FB group you join, because I respect you. Unfortunately, you don't respect me at all. (strike #3)

We can't be friends until you figure out how to be accountable for your actions, and work on your baggage. I am also don't want to speak to either. You hurt me BAD dude. Because this all started with FB, Twitter, and email, I decided to reply. Take care.


Sincerely,


rachel r, rodriguez


p.s: You might this i am being dramatic, but usually people who are abusive, use that reason to justify their actions.