i've never met anyone new on facebook. i've met all of my facebook friends at least once, with the exceptions of comedians or actors. i've met a few high school folks from my past, some i don't approve and some i do. i only approve high school folks i was in debate with and the tiny few that use to hang out with me. i was pretty depressed in high school and i am always shocked when someone recognizes me. i think 5 of my facebook friends are from high school.
last summer, i received a friend request from connie k. it included a message asking if i remember her from high school. once i put it altogether, the good memories of connie k flooded back into my mind. the memories of geeking out about x-files, homicide: life on the streets and newsradio were good times. she was one year younger than me and i always appreciated her for being cool. we weren't close, but she was always sweet.
i approved her and i caught her a few times on AIM. both of us would suggest to go out drinking, but we never did it. i started to bug her about it and she ignored all of my responses. because of this, i assumed she didn't want to meet up. why would folks suggest to meet up if they don't mean it? since connie k gave no response to my drinking invitation, i stopped asking. i wouldn't be wasting my time writing about this until last Thursday night.
two weeks ago, one of connie k's status asked me when we were finally going to go out for margaritas. she even went the route of putting ?!?!!? at the end of her status. blug. i thought since she blasted me to her 30 friends on facebook, that i should finally go for margaritas with her. since she was asking me to get some drinks, i figured why not? even though its been over 11 yrs since we've seen each other, i thought this would be fun. i will never make that mistake again. the night before we met up, she messaged me saying that her boyfriend was going to be there too and that i should bring my boy as well. here's what i thought of when i read that...
1. wtf?
2. i don't want to use my "boy" as a human shield
3. maybe i shouldn't do thins after all?
i almost canceled the whole deal after i read that message because i thought it was weird. why are you going to drag your fucking sweetie to this this? i love m.v.f. enough to know that i don't expect him to drive to LA for this bullshit?!? i want to have a drink with connie k and not her boyfriend...especially when you haven't seen them since 1998?!?i should have listened to my gut. instead, i bit the bullet and told her that my "boy" doesn't live in LA and that i'll still be there. this lead to the most awkward dinner i've ever had in my life.
i don't want to go through all of the details, because it's not even worth it. but i will say that she and her boyfriend have no social skills. i felt like i was talking too much, only because they both were giving me "deer caught in the headlights" looks throughout dinner. yes, i know it's been 11 years since we've seen each other. but it was HER idea for this whole thing, so i would think she would of made some kind of effort to talk to me. look at my fucking profile at least?!? i am over people who can't carry a fucking conversation. i wasted a night i could of done homework or met with a friend who i haven't seen in a while. geesh.
most of the conversation we had was about high school anyway. she was shocked that i didn't go to my 10 year reunion. i wasn't shocked in the slightest because i haven't thought about high school since i fucking graduated and MOVED ON from that hell hole. the only thing i got from the whole thing was how much i have grown up and moved on from the awkward, shy and anti social grrl i use to be. unfortunately not everyone moves on and folks from high school remain bitter, awkward and still live in the same city, without thinking of anything else but themselves.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
English 103
i am taking english 103 this semester at LACC. it's the final english class i have to take for my general education credits. recently i turned in my first essay of the semester. i knew it wasn't my best work. i was rushed and i didn't give it enough time or energy. i knew i wasn't going to get a high grade. fortunately i got it back on sunday evening and it had a B+ in the email. i opened his attachment and i saw numerous footnotes on it. i made many grammar errors on this essay. i was shocked that i got a B+, but i'll take it. :)
i went into class last night and my instructor started to pass out two example essays that he wanted to go over. when i saw the hand out, i realized he used my essay (w/o my name on it) to completely tear apart. i felt completely humiliated. yes, my name wasn't on the essay. unfortunately i did mention a few personal remarks that uncovered my queer girl roots and that made me feel singled out since i am the only queer girl in my class. i was crying at my desk because i was embarrassed with my bad grammar. it ruined my evening and i cried all the way home. i was crying when i got off the bus and i cried more when i got home.
i know my teacher wasn't trying to be malicious or hurtful. he's only doing his job and i respect that. i wasn't even crying or upset about the errors. just the process was completely demeaning and i would love it if he never does that to me or anyone in that class. my essay and the other better one both got B+ grades. This stupid bitch made a comment about how can my essay get a B+ with all the mistakes on it. (obviously she didn't know it was mine, but still...very annoying) he explained that even though the first essay had errors on it, that it was still exceptional because of the character of it. all of my points were strong, only my grammar and sentencing structure needs work.
i did email him last night about the whole experience. i also wanted to be clear that i wasn't upset about the grammar errors or the structure. i appreciate all of his corrections and feedback, but feeling singled out wasn't fun. :( his response was an apology and he didn't realize that i would respond that way. he promised he would give me a heads up if he ever used my paper as an example for future classes. he also stated that even with my errors, my paper was exception for english 103.
i went into class last night and my instructor started to pass out two example essays that he wanted to go over. when i saw the hand out, i realized he used my essay (w/o my name on it) to completely tear apart. i felt completely humiliated. yes, my name wasn't on the essay. unfortunately i did mention a few personal remarks that uncovered my queer girl roots and that made me feel singled out since i am the only queer girl in my class. i was crying at my desk because i was embarrassed with my bad grammar. it ruined my evening and i cried all the way home. i was crying when i got off the bus and i cried more when i got home.
i know my teacher wasn't trying to be malicious or hurtful. he's only doing his job and i respect that. i wasn't even crying or upset about the errors. just the process was completely demeaning and i would love it if he never does that to me or anyone in that class. my essay and the other better one both got B+ grades. This stupid bitch made a comment about how can my essay get a B+ with all the mistakes on it. (obviously she didn't know it was mine, but still...very annoying) he explained that even though the first essay had errors on it, that it was still exceptional because of the character of it. all of my points were strong, only my grammar and sentencing structure needs work.
i did email him last night about the whole experience. i also wanted to be clear that i wasn't upset about the grammar errors or the structure. i appreciate all of his corrections and feedback, but feeling singled out wasn't fun. :( his response was an apology and he didn't realize that i would respond that way. he promised he would give me a heads up if he ever used my paper as an example for future classes. he also stated that even with my errors, my paper was exception for english 103.
Friday, February 27, 2009
processing
i would of never thought it
everyone knew but me
my fam warned me
all my friends weren't that surprised
you really had me there
and i was the fool who played along
now when i walk the mission
it's hard not to get sentimental
riding BART to San Leandro
makes my stomach hurt
i want zachery's pizza to move to silver lake
when i put my shoes in the bin
before taking a flight from LA
going through the metal protector
while i gather my purse, i think of you
and wonder if you arrested anyone today
riding the metro bus
and i'm watching an old lady
use her purse to hide her 40 oz
she keeps talking to herself
and reminds the bus driver that he's on vacation
it's only 8:14 a.m
did you know that i was still crying over you
a year after my life changed
the early stages of anew
brought back some of the crap from the past
everyone knew but me
my fam warned me
all my friends weren't that surprised
you really had me there
and i was the fool who played along
now when i walk the mission
it's hard not to get sentimental
riding BART to San Leandro
makes my stomach hurt
i want zachery's pizza to move to silver lake
when i put my shoes in the bin
before taking a flight from LA
going through the metal protector
while i gather my purse, i think of you
and wonder if you arrested anyone today
riding the metro bus
and i'm watching an old lady
use her purse to hide her 40 oz
she keeps talking to herself
and reminds the bus driver that he's on vacation
it's only 8:14 a.m
did you know that i was still crying over you
a year after my life changed
the early stages of anew
brought back some of the crap from the past
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
i can't do it captain
the LACC spring semester started yesterday and i was pretty stoked. unfortunately when i left my elementary algebra class, i wanted to cry because she gave us A LOT of homework. like a good hour, hour and a half of it. i got home and i started doing the problems, then i realized it was already going on 11:00 pm. i haven't showered, got out of my clothes and i started crying.
granted this was only the first day of the semester. but something in my gut was telling me this week was going to drag like no other. i like going to school. i like learning new things and i like to push myself hard, especially on math and english. but taking political science on thursday, which shouldn't be too bad, feels like a total drag. if i would continue with taking political science on thursday evening, basically i don't have any time to do anything else. i already didn't have any time last month to buy groceries since i was in class 4 times a week. i feel that taking a thursday evening class will not make me like school. i already work 40 hrs a week at my job and that does take up my time because i got to pay the bills. i want to keep liking that i am in school and i don't want to feel trapped.
when i was thinking about all of this last night, i felt like i had a flash of what my year was going to look like and it made me sad. i don't want to feel sad about school. school is suppose to be a uplifting and an awesome experience, not something that you're forcing yourself into because you have to. some of my close friends were a little concerned that i might be taking on too much. at the time, i really thought i was able to take it on. now i know better. :) i am always going to keep trying to get closer and closer to getting my A.A degree in Liberal Arts. i know many people in my life that are still trying to attend college, while balance their own life with their families, etc.
instead of beating myself up over this, i am just going to keep my sanity and drop the thursday evening class. it will give me time to excell in elementary algebra and my english 103 class. i rather receive two A's than receive so so grades from 3 classes.
granted this was only the first day of the semester. but something in my gut was telling me this week was going to drag like no other. i like going to school. i like learning new things and i like to push myself hard, especially on math and english. but taking political science on thursday, which shouldn't be too bad, feels like a total drag. if i would continue with taking political science on thursday evening, basically i don't have any time to do anything else. i already didn't have any time last month to buy groceries since i was in class 4 times a week. i feel that taking a thursday evening class will not make me like school. i already work 40 hrs a week at my job and that does take up my time because i got to pay the bills. i want to keep liking that i am in school and i don't want to feel trapped.
when i was thinking about all of this last night, i felt like i had a flash of what my year was going to look like and it made me sad. i don't want to feel sad about school. school is suppose to be a uplifting and an awesome experience, not something that you're forcing yourself into because you have to. some of my close friends were a little concerned that i might be taking on too much. at the time, i really thought i was able to take it on. now i know better. :) i am always going to keep trying to get closer and closer to getting my A.A degree in Liberal Arts. i know many people in my life that are still trying to attend college, while balance their own life with their families, etc.
instead of beating myself up over this, i am just going to keep my sanity and drop the thursday evening class. it will give me time to excell in elementary algebra and my english 103 class. i rather receive two A's than receive so so grades from 3 classes.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
to tip or not to tip?
this is what i thought of the delivery person who brought me thai a few weeks back. unfortunately my speech class got canceled and i was exhausted when i got home. so i decided to treat myself and got some delicious thai food from mae ploy. perhaps this was a mistake in retrospect. i was a bit low on the cash, but i figured i was treating myself and i would bring the leftovers to work the next day. this meant that i wouldn't pay for lunch and that it was the right thing to do? i was too tired to think and ordered food anyway.
i remembered that i didn't have cash to give to the delivery guy. i wanted to hit up an ATM, but it was going to cut it close since it's already been 40 minutes that passed. i don't mind charging my debit card for deliveries, but i usually like giving my tip in $. my good friend mario called me at that moment and we started to catch up. but then i hear the knocking on the door. i put down the phone to get my food. i started to panic because i didn't have $$ for a tip, so at that moment, i signed the lil' paper and didn't give a tip amount. *dramatic music*
i didn't even put $1.00 on there because i figured it was the neighborhood silver lake and someone that makes more money than me can tip the guy. i didn't want to keep my friend waiting on the phone and i reacted too quickly. i gave him back the signed paper and said good night. feeling already shitty about it, i put my food in the kitchen and start to make myself a plate. all of a sudden, i hear another knock at my door. my friend on the other line even heard it because it was that loud. i put my phone down and get to the door, it's the delivery guy. he started demanding a tip and suggested that i should put one on the receipt. he didn't want to hear excuses and he started telling me that he doesn't get paid much and that i should tip him like everyone else.
ok. i know not tipping the guy in the first place was not cool. but the fact that he came back and demanded a friggin' tip, didn't make me think that i should of tipped him in the first place. it also made me think if he would of asked a guy the exact same thing. don't mean to go there, but i couldn't help thinking so while he started giving me a hard time for this. he kept going on and on until i yelped, i am broke ok and you got to leave now. he stopped, smiled and said that he understood not having enough money and then i closed the door in his face. my friend heard the whole thing on the other end of the phone and was being supportive. "a tip isn't mandatory and you should call the restaurant back and tell them how he was to you." i was already feeling shitty and this delivery guy didn't make it any better at all. if i would of put a dollar on the receipt, i could of avoided this completely. but i still thought the way he was talking to me was very rude.
it was hard to enjoy the yummy thai food that evening. i felt like curling up to a ball and never ordering delivery ever again. now i can look back at it and laugh, because it really is hysterical. it sounds likes something that would happen on a TV sitcom. i told m.v.f. about the whole thing and he was cracking up, along with asking "why didn't you tip him again?" blug.
in other news, i am almost done with my winter session of speech class and i start my spring semester next monday 2/8. i'll be in class 4 times a week again and now i am taking 3 different subjects. i am taking 11 units, which is the most i've taken even while working full time. but i feel like i am ready to take this on, i really want to get a lot of school accomplished this year. i am also going to get myself a laptop!! since i am in school all of the time and always on the go, i figured this may be the best thing for me. i was thinking about getting a new computer. but if i get a lap top, i don't always have to be stuck at my house doing homework all the time. i can get some coffee, do my homework, be on facebook, be productive with my blog, get back on facebook. ;) i am stoked about getting a laptop though. yay. :)
i remembered that i didn't have cash to give to the delivery guy. i wanted to hit up an ATM, but it was going to cut it close since it's already been 40 minutes that passed. i don't mind charging my debit card for deliveries, but i usually like giving my tip in $. my good friend mario called me at that moment and we started to catch up. but then i hear the knocking on the door. i put down the phone to get my food. i started to panic because i didn't have $$ for a tip, so at that moment, i signed the lil' paper and didn't give a tip amount. *dramatic music*
i didn't even put $1.00 on there because i figured it was the neighborhood silver lake and someone that makes more money than me can tip the guy. i didn't want to keep my friend waiting on the phone and i reacted too quickly. i gave him back the signed paper and said good night. feeling already shitty about it, i put my food in the kitchen and start to make myself a plate. all of a sudden, i hear another knock at my door. my friend on the other line even heard it because it was that loud. i put my phone down and get to the door, it's the delivery guy. he started demanding a tip and suggested that i should put one on the receipt. he didn't want to hear excuses and he started telling me that he doesn't get paid much and that i should tip him like everyone else.
ok. i know not tipping the guy in the first place was not cool. but the fact that he came back and demanded a friggin' tip, didn't make me think that i should of tipped him in the first place. it also made me think if he would of asked a guy the exact same thing. don't mean to go there, but i couldn't help thinking so while he started giving me a hard time for this. he kept going on and on until i yelped, i am broke ok and you got to leave now. he stopped, smiled and said that he understood not having enough money and then i closed the door in his face. my friend heard the whole thing on the other end of the phone and was being supportive. "a tip isn't mandatory and you should call the restaurant back and tell them how he was to you." i was already feeling shitty and this delivery guy didn't make it any better at all. if i would of put a dollar on the receipt, i could of avoided this completely. but i still thought the way he was talking to me was very rude.
it was hard to enjoy the yummy thai food that evening. i felt like curling up to a ball and never ordering delivery ever again. now i can look back at it and laugh, because it really is hysterical. it sounds likes something that would happen on a TV sitcom. i told m.v.f. about the whole thing and he was cracking up, along with asking "why didn't you tip him again?" blug.
in other news, i am almost done with my winter session of speech class and i start my spring semester next monday 2/8. i'll be in class 4 times a week again and now i am taking 3 different subjects. i am taking 11 units, which is the most i've taken even while working full time. but i feel like i am ready to take this on, i really want to get a lot of school accomplished this year. i am also going to get myself a laptop!! since i am in school all of the time and always on the go, i figured this may be the best thing for me. i was thinking about getting a new computer. but if i get a lap top, i don't always have to be stuck at my house doing homework all the time. i can get some coffee, do my homework, be on facebook, be productive with my blog, get back on facebook. ;) i am stoked about getting a laptop though. yay. :)
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