speech class and the last day in june

i started my speech class this week at LACC. it's a five week course. so i am in class monday through thursday from 6:55 pm until 9:30 pm. during the work week, i am up by 7 am and by the time i get home, it's already passed 10 pm. it's been a bit rough adjusting to this new schedule, but i know i can do it. :) but it doesn't give me any time to hang out with friends or call back folks throughout the day. i hope my friends know that i am not trying to ignore them, but i really don't have any time to call folks back.

i am only taking this class because it's a requirement. i wouldn't be taking this class if it wasn't. only because i took 4 years of debate in high school, along with my past performances and my experiences facilitating workshops, i really don't have issues with making a speech and presenting it. but i am fortunate enough to have an AWESOME teacher this semester. her name is mcpherson-rosas and she's been teaching speech at various colleges in LA for 12 years. she's a feminist and the first time i saw her walking down the hall, i knew i was going to like her. she's has short hair with purple streaks in the front, she's a woman of size and has so much confidence. she's completely down to earth and very open minded.

the first speech we had to do this week was to introduce ourselves to the class, along with bringing an object that described where we were at the moment. the item i decided to bring in was a photography book that m.v.f. got me from the holiday called the last day of june. it's by jamel shabazz and it's various photographs he took during NYC pride from 1999 - 2001. over a month ago, both m.v.f. and i were at a barnes and noble bookstore in his neighborhood. i saw this book and immediately got excited. flipping through this book reminded me of my younger days, walking in pride parades with my friends and feeling acceptance in a community that still a huge part of my life.

but since i've moved back to LA in 2005, it doesn't feel the same when i got to so cal pride events. i feel like a complete outcast and now that i have a male partner, the biphobia shines through and ignorant gays/lesbians like to ask me such questions like "you do still like women right? how do you do it?". i have also heard from various ignorant gay men down here that it's OK for women to be bisexual, but it's not acceptable for men to be. along with the various craigslist lesbian postings stating NO BISEXUALS I WANT TO DATE A WOMAN WHO ISNT CONFUSED. if you think i am joking about the caps lock, look for yourself, it's fucking nuts. but hearing all this bullshit on a semi-daily basis really gets to me and it's emotionally draining.

so when i saw the last day of june on the table at a barnes and noble in redlands, CA... a part of my heart melted in a good and sweet way. at the time i couldn't afford it and i told matt that i would buy it later. on xmas morning, we exchanged gifts and one of the gifts from him was this book. i brought this book in as my object of where i am at because i feel that m.v.f. gets who i am as a queer grrl and he accepts me for who i am. granted we have been together for 3 years, but he continues to blow me away with accepting me for my queer radical views. at times we don't agree on every issue, but it means the fucking world to me that he's still by my side. even during my speech about my object, i started getting a little emotional. i also am tearing up as i type this. d'oh.

i want to get to a point when i don't tear up about this fact, but it's just where i am at right now and that's why i brought the book to class. my speech teacher loved my introduction, along with students in the class asking to see the book. next week, we have to give an instructional speech. since i use to be a sex educator for seven years, i will use that opportunity to tell my classmates how to pick the right lube. my teacher was ecstatic about my topic and highly encourage me to do it. :) i am also pretty stoked about it as well because it's been awhile.