Thursday, October 21, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
living for me
yo, yo, yo!! i'm still trying to write more, but i keep getting stuck. trying not to beat myself up about it tho, and letting it all come back naturally.
2010 has been an emotional roller coaster. it's been rough, going through the ups and downs. feeling isolated, not feeling like myself. being negative about it ALL, when there wasn't a reason to be. i got caught up within my own sadness, and started to feel like my soul was disintegrating.
i was fighting with my boo a lot, about stupid, STUPID, things. i stopped answering the phone when my friends called. i stopped being online when i was home. i started to feel lonely, and became clingy to everyone who was still around. my friends would invite me out, and i would be very quiet, still, and not engage in conversation. i became silent, in a way i haven't felt in a LOOOOOONG time. i started saying sorry to EVERYONE, even though there wasn't a reason to be. i was going to certain shows, events, because i thought that's what i should be doing. instead, it only made me more miserable. BUT, i do know why i've been feeling this way. i've been focusing on the negativity, and i haven't been seeing the GOOD in full circle. the cycle of depression stops with me!
i'm not the same person i was when i moved back to los angeles in august 2005. i've changed, and i keep getting hung up on my past. i gotta start living for me, and no one else. i keep getting caught up with my future plans, that i haven't been present. i know who i am, and i know what i want in my life. i keep getting distracted with bullshit. real sofa king annoying bull shit.fuck the haters!!! seriously! can't get caught up with others projections. i know who I AM, and i know i'll get a car/live w/my boo/or accomplish other goals when I am ready to do so.
i need to start living life for me, and no one else. i need to stop being negative, FUCK DEPRESSION. going to see MEN on friday night was a great reminder. i need to start speaking up for myself again. i need to start listening to folks! i got to stop making assumptions. it really begins NOW! :)
r.r.r.
2010 has been an emotional roller coaster. it's been rough, going through the ups and downs. feeling isolated, not feeling like myself. being negative about it ALL, when there wasn't a reason to be. i got caught up within my own sadness, and started to feel like my soul was disintegrating.
i was fighting with my boo a lot, about stupid, STUPID, things. i stopped answering the phone when my friends called. i stopped being online when i was home. i started to feel lonely, and became clingy to everyone who was still around. my friends would invite me out, and i would be very quiet, still, and not engage in conversation. i became silent, in a way i haven't felt in a LOOOOOONG time. i started saying sorry to EVERYONE, even though there wasn't a reason to be. i was going to certain shows, events, because i thought that's what i should be doing. instead, it only made me more miserable. BUT, i do know why i've been feeling this way. i've been focusing on the negativity, and i haven't been seeing the GOOD in full circle. the cycle of depression stops with me!
i'm not the same person i was when i moved back to los angeles in august 2005. i've changed, and i keep getting hung up on my past. i gotta start living for me, and no one else. i keep getting caught up with my future plans, that i haven't been present. i know who i am, and i know what i want in my life. i keep getting distracted with bullshit. real sofa king annoying bull shit.fuck the haters!!! seriously! can't get caught up with others projections. i know who I AM, and i know i'll get a car/live w/my boo/or accomplish other goals when I am ready to do so.
i need to start living life for me, and no one else. i need to stop being negative, FUCK DEPRESSION. going to see MEN on friday night was a great reminder. i need to start speaking up for myself again. i need to start listening to folks! i got to stop making assumptions. it really begins NOW! :)
r.r.r.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I'm still here...
Hey y'all. It's been 3 months since I've written anything on here. But I think Joaquin says it best...
I'll be writing more shortly. Be prepare for rants on Runway, pop culture, music, news, lgbtiq issues, race, class and politics. Get ready. Woo hoo.
I'll be writing more shortly. Be prepare for rants on Runway, pop culture, music, news, lgbtiq issues, race, class and politics. Get ready. Woo hoo.
Monday, June 7, 2010
this is only a test
Hi there,
I haven't written a post on here since March 2010. Things have been hard. I think it might be the whole "I'm turning 30 and I don't know WTF is going on" deal. But I feel like now it's getting better. So on that note....
Why is this shocking? WTF MTV? It's not 2003, and it's not Britney and Madonna. But why does MTV think setting up girl-on-girl action is SOOOOOOOOOOO risque? The kiss itself seems awkward. But..if either of those ladies wanted to kiss me, I would let them. Sandra Bullock and Scarlet Johansson are fiiiiiiiine.
Is it just me, or are straight actors making out in public, becoming the new black?
I haven't written a post on here since March 2010. Things have been hard. I think it might be the whole "I'm turning 30 and I don't know WTF is going on" deal. But I feel like now it's getting better. So on that note....
Why is this shocking? WTF MTV? It's not 2003, and it's not Britney and Madonna. But why does MTV think setting up girl-on-girl action is SOOOOOOOOOOO risque? The kiss itself seems awkward. But..if either of those ladies wanted to kiss me, I would let them. Sandra Bullock and Scarlet Johansson are fiiiiiiiine.
Is it just me, or are straight actors making out in public, becoming the new black?
Monday, March 8, 2010
it's been a loooong time...
since I've posted on here. A few highlights...
1. I passed English 103 last Fall semester with a B!! Ms. Matthews passed me with a B!! I busted my ass last semester and I had a quality teacher. I wrote my final research paper on the global perspective of same sex marriage. I knocked out the F from Spring 2009, and replaced it with a better grade.
2. I celebrated my 4 year dating anniversary with m.v.f in January! We didn't go out of town, or do anything crazy extravagant. We both received an amazing couple's massage in Silver Lake, and ate a delicious meal at Engine Co 28 restaurant in Downtown LA. I love my boyfriend so damn much!! Blackxian love in the house!!
3. I attended two AMAZING shows last month. I saw St. Vincent at the El Rey, and I saw Mariah Carey at the Gibson Amphitheater. I cried at both shows, especially when St Vincent decided to cover "These Days" by Nico. *tear* St. Vincent was fierce on stage, holding onto her guitar, and singing lovely. She sang most of Actor, and a few covers, and songs from her first album. Mariah was FABULOUS!!! She was everything I thought she would be. She's looks great, and her voice was on it! I bought an Mariah key chain...because I had to. Seriously. ;-)
4. I quit my Intermediate Algebra class for LACC Spring semester. I was in this class for almost one month, and I started feeling horribly overwhelmed. My work gets hectic this time of year, and I didn't want to fail another class because of it. I loved my teacher too, and discussed with him why I was quitting. He understood. He wished me luck in life, and he hopes to see me again another time.
I think having spring off is going to help me out immensely. I realized last month that I wasn't happy. I was in school, but I was getting stress headaches because of it. Honestly I've been depressed since November 2009. I haven't felt like myself, and I want to start focusing on me again. I want to go back to the gym, I want to start writing again. I want to call my friends, and have the time to call/see them. I want to socialize, and attend different events in my neighborhood. I want to stop being an asshole to my boyfriend. Seriously....I've been in a funk.
But, I will be posting more topical entries shortly. Such as my Alice In Wonderland review. Oh who am I kidding, it was aiiiight. It had amazing visual effects, but the storyline sucked ass. Is it wrong to be crushed out on Alice?
Ok....more later. :-)
r.r.r.
1. I passed English 103 last Fall semester with a B!! Ms. Matthews passed me with a B!! I busted my ass last semester and I had a quality teacher. I wrote my final research paper on the global perspective of same sex marriage. I knocked out the F from Spring 2009, and replaced it with a better grade.
2. I celebrated my 4 year dating anniversary with m.v.f in January! We didn't go out of town, or do anything crazy extravagant. We both received an amazing couple's massage in Silver Lake, and ate a delicious meal at Engine Co 28 restaurant in Downtown LA. I love my boyfriend so damn much!! Blackxian love in the house!!
3. I attended two AMAZING shows last month. I saw St. Vincent at the El Rey, and I saw Mariah Carey at the Gibson Amphitheater. I cried at both shows, especially when St Vincent decided to cover "These Days" by Nico. *tear* St. Vincent was fierce on stage, holding onto her guitar, and singing lovely. She sang most of Actor, and a few covers, and songs from her first album. Mariah was FABULOUS!!! She was everything I thought she would be. She's looks great, and her voice was on it! I bought an Mariah key chain...because I had to. Seriously. ;-)
4. I quit my Intermediate Algebra class for LACC Spring semester. I was in this class for almost one month, and I started feeling horribly overwhelmed. My work gets hectic this time of year, and I didn't want to fail another class because of it. I loved my teacher too, and discussed with him why I was quitting. He understood. He wished me luck in life, and he hopes to see me again another time.
I think having spring off is going to help me out immensely. I realized last month that I wasn't happy. I was in school, but I was getting stress headaches because of it. Honestly I've been depressed since November 2009. I haven't felt like myself, and I want to start focusing on me again. I want to go back to the gym, I want to start writing again. I want to call my friends, and have the time to call/see them. I want to socialize, and attend different events in my neighborhood. I want to stop being an asshole to my boyfriend. Seriously....I've been in a funk.
But, I will be posting more topical entries shortly. Such as my Alice In Wonderland review. Oh who am I kidding, it was aiiiight. It had amazing visual effects, but the storyline sucked ass. Is it wrong to be crushed out on Alice?
Ok....more later. :-)
r.r.r.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
My notes from 826 LA writing workshop
I went to an awesome freelance writing workshop tonight at 826LA. Four writers came in, and offered advice to a crowd of 50 folks.
I was the ONLY Mexican woman in the crowd. Unfortunately, there weren't a lot of POC period. Which I find hysterical because 826 LA is located in Echo Park. Unfortunately, Echo Park is a gentrified neighborhood. As much as it's was frustrating to be the only Mexican there, I was ecstatic to hear what each writer had to say. Especially Joshuah Bearman. He writes for The American Prospect, and various "liberal" magazines that recognize class and race. He was dope.
All four writers have different experiences with freelance writing, and each explain their own process. I wrote about 4 pages of notes. Here's a few things that are still lingering in my subconscious....
"There's no other profession where you can stay home all day in your boxers shorts. I rely on humorous observation..." - Neil Pollack
"(generally) pitching your writing is frustrating" - Joel Stein
"Social media (Twitter, FB, ETC) validates your writing, you start creating your own community" - Neil Pollack
"I like to write, but I hate Twitter" - Claire Hoffman
"I read weekly's from other cities" - Clarie Hoffman
"I use to read a lot, but then I moved to LA and now reading makes me feel stupid" - Neil Pollack
"Every job I've had, came through a personal relationship" - Joel Stein and Joshua Bearman
"I use to be careful, but then I stopped" - Joel Stein
"I don't think you have to know everybody." Claire Hoffman and Joshua Bearman
"Finding your community on the internet is HARD" - Joshua Bearman
"Be aggressive, but don't lose your mind over it" - All four writers
r.r.r.
I was the ONLY Mexican woman in the crowd. Unfortunately, there weren't a lot of POC period. Which I find hysterical because 826 LA is located in Echo Park. Unfortunately, Echo Park is a gentrified neighborhood. As much as it's was frustrating to be the only Mexican there, I was ecstatic to hear what each writer had to say. Especially Joshuah Bearman. He writes for The American Prospect, and various "liberal" magazines that recognize class and race. He was dope.
All four writers have different experiences with freelance writing, and each explain their own process. I wrote about 4 pages of notes. Here's a few things that are still lingering in my subconscious....
"There's no other profession where you can stay home all day in your boxers shorts. I rely on humorous observation..." - Neil Pollack
"(generally) pitching your writing is frustrating" - Joel Stein
"Social media (Twitter, FB, ETC) validates your writing, you start creating your own community" - Neil Pollack
"I like to write, but I hate Twitter" - Claire Hoffman
"I read weekly's from other cities" - Clarie Hoffman
"I use to read a lot, but then I moved to LA and now reading makes me feel stupid" - Neil Pollack
"Every job I've had, came through a personal relationship" - Joel Stein and Joshua Bearman
"I use to be careful, but then I stopped" - Joel Stein
"I don't think you have to know everybody." Claire Hoffman and Joshua Bearman
"Finding your community on the internet is HARD" - Joshua Bearman
"Be aggressive, but don't lose your mind over it" - All four writers
r.r.r.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
i HEART zach galifianakis
Zach Galifianakis is going to be HOSTING SNL on March 6th!!! This fact totally made my morning!!! He's hysterical!! These clips are a few of my favs. Enjoy!!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
i heart rob brenzey again...
you did it again mr. brenzey. great job!!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Usually I overflow with advice about how to
access your soul's code. I love to help you express the unique blueprint
that sets you apart from everyone else. Every now and then, though, it's
a healing balm to take a sabbatical from exploring the intricacies of your
core truths. This is one of those times. For the next ten days, I invite you
to enjoy the privilege of being absolutely nobody. Revel in the pure
emptiness of having no clue about your deep identity. If anyone asks you,
"Who are you?", relish the bubbly freedom that comes from cheerfully
saying, "I have no freaking idea!"
r.r.r.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Usually I overflow with advice about how to
access your soul's code. I love to help you express the unique blueprint
that sets you apart from everyone else. Every now and then, though, it's
a healing balm to take a sabbatical from exploring the intricacies of your
core truths. This is one of those times. For the next ten days, I invite you
to enjoy the privilege of being absolutely nobody. Revel in the pure
emptiness of having no clue about your deep identity. If anyone asks you,
"Who are you?", relish the bubbly freedom that comes from cheerfully
saying, "I have no freaking idea!"
r.r.r.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Enjoying winter break...
Hey there,
I know it's been a minute since I've consistently posted on here. I've been enjoying my winter break and doing a whole lot of nothing. It's been swell. But, I will start posting more rambles starting next week. In the meantime, check out these links below....
How you can help Haiti
WTF White People?!?
It's NBC loss...
January 19, 2010: The First 364 Days 23 Hours
LGB.....and sometimes T
r.r.r.
I know it's been a minute since I've consistently posted on here. I've been enjoying my winter break and doing a whole lot of nothing. It's been swell. But, I will start posting more rambles starting next week. In the meantime, check out these links below....
How you can help Haiti
WTF White People?!?
It's NBC loss...
January 19, 2010: The First 364 Days 23 Hours
LGB.....and sometimes T
r.r.r.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
hell no conan won't go...
WTF NBC!?! You decide to cancel Leno's 10 pm show, put him back to 11:35 pm for ONLY a half hour, put Conan and Fallon behind him, and ask Conan to think it over?!? Are you fucking kidding me?! You're asking Conan and the "tonight show" franchise to start at 12:05 am, because YOU made a HUGE mistake. You rather care about ratings, money and politics. UGH.
You have two options NBC. You either pay Leno or Conan out of their contracts. If you were smart, you would choose to pay out Leno out. Leno is done. He has lost his funny mojo, for real. There's no way any comedian will look at Leno the same way again after this. Oh wait. Jerry Seinfeld will stand by his side. Blug. Perhaps Leno will get a Doritos contract FTW?
David Letterman chimes in with his opinion of it all.
I am glad Conan told NBC he's not moving. Good for him. If NBC wants him out, they're gonna have to PAY him out. If they go there, I will boycott NBC. I only watch NBC for Conan and Thursday night comedies. Sorry 30 Rock, The Office, Community, and Parks and Recreation. This is some fucked up bullshit NBC.
Currently, I'm reading Black Is The New White by Paul Mooney. Mooney breaks down how fucked up NBC truly is, along with all the racism he put up with in Hollywood and Los Angeles. Unfortunately things seem like they've never change in Hollyweird. It's all about money, not about quality. Suits will never make the right decisions. It's refreshing to see Conan do this. Telling a major network that he's not backing down...
GO CONAN GO!
You have two options NBC. You either pay Leno or Conan out of their contracts. If you were smart, you would choose to pay out Leno out. Leno is done. He has lost his funny mojo, for real. There's no way any comedian will look at Leno the same way again after this. Oh wait. Jerry Seinfeld will stand by his side. Blug. Perhaps Leno will get a Doritos contract FTW?
David Letterman chimes in with his opinion of it all.
I am glad Conan told NBC he's not moving. Good for him. If NBC wants him out, they're gonna have to PAY him out. If they go there, I will boycott NBC. I only watch NBC for Conan and Thursday night comedies. Sorry 30 Rock, The Office, Community, and Parks and Recreation. This is some fucked up bullshit NBC.
Currently, I'm reading Black Is The New White by Paul Mooney. Mooney breaks down how fucked up NBC truly is, along with all the racism he put up with in Hollywood and Los Angeles. Unfortunately things seem like they've never change in Hollyweird. It's all about money, not about quality. Suits will never make the right decisions. It's refreshing to see Conan do this. Telling a major network that he's not backing down...
GO CONAN GO!
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