WTF Dallas?

i heart most of the queer porn that pink and white productions make. i thought the crash pad was off the hook, with queer identified folks, tatts, hot chemistry and good representation of queer folks of color. even though it reminds me of the elitist bay area scene, but i was amazed how much i dug it. i've been waiting MONTHS for their new movie Champion to be released. i've been checking blowfish.com web site to see when i can pre-order it. i've been dying for some queer/dyke porn without the long nails, femme on femme stuff. not trying to knock that though. i've seen it and it's ok...but i get a bigger kick of seeing queer folks of colors getting it on. it's a personal preference. :)

i am on myspace the other day and i see that pink and white have made a separate web site for champion. i click it, getting totally stoked because i've been waiting for this for SO LONG. i get to the site and i realize...that one of the characters is someone i fucking can't STAND!

the Dallas character is this girl i use to know back in the day, like 2001 status. Dallas use to be with one of my friends. i've done shrooms with dallas, i've gotten drunk and high at her place and she always use to get on my last nerve. but my friend at the time was in love, so i never got in the way because i loved my friend too much. but as lesbians are...drama between Dallas and i got crazy. basically my friend and Dallas we're fighting a lot and my friend was telling me that they might break up. unfortunately I used that moment to tell my friend how much Dallas sucks ASS and how she should give her the boot and move on. i saw how both were miserable and I knew my friend and Dallas would be happier if they weren't together. so right after i give my two cents on their relationship, they got back together and they were stronger than ever before. because of that...my "friend" stopped returning my calls. she avoided me and my real friends in the neighborhood. even my real friends, who've met both of them and tolerated their craziness, were dissed by them and their lesbian/feminist friends. i was crushed at the time because i didn't get why she gave me the brush off, until she wrote it in an email. how fucked up is that? i left the bay area in 2005 and through friendster, (who uses that anymore?), i saw my "friends" profile and it said she was single. which still makes me laugh now because it was so fucking stupid. i don't keep in touch with either of those girls at all.

now that "Dallas" is one of the big stars of champion...i can't fucking see this bitch have sex. i can't even think about it. which really pisses me the fuck off. don't mean to be cussing and annoying...but i was really looking forward to it. i have a boundary when it comes to my friends and porn. if they're in a movie, i cannot and will not get off to them at all. i respect that they made an awesome movie and support them 110%, but i will not go to the premiere and put myself through that. i know others don't have this boundary and tip my hat off to you. but that is not the way i am at all.

i can't watch champion because of Dallas. the thought of it really grosses me out. dammit it all to hell. :(

this bothers me

perhaps i am bitter? i don't only have bittersweet tattooed on my leg for my love of chocolate? ;) all the ignorant guys (not many girls i've dated in my past said shit like this...but i recognize they're out there too) i've dated and said to stupidest shit in their outside voice regarding latinas. many years ago, i had a one night stand with this guy. the next morning i woke up and was trying to get the HELL out of his place. while i was getting it together, he woke up, yawned and said with a smile on his face "latinas always do it right." as much as i was hungover, i remember thinking the following...

1. what the fuck did he just say?
2. does he think i will fuck him now after that lovely statement?
3. fucking hipster white guys
4. i can't take this drymouth any more
5. what the fuck did he just fucking say?!?

why do people think having sex with someone who's not their race is exotic and "different"? i get so TIRED of how folks exotify people of color when it comes to sex. i've had people tell me how latino/a people are "spicy" and how we're full of passion and we're hot blooded animals. some fucking chick said that to my face years ago at a bar and i was completely shocked. did she want me to agree with her and tell her that it's all about the "latina spiciness" and that's how i really get laid? perhaps i should of told her that i got my spiciness from rainbow grocery. it's only cost me 99 cents, because you know how we latinos like cheap stuff right? BOO! :(

a few months ago, one acquaintance asked me how i am able to date other races and ethnicities? an actual ADULT, in their mid 20's, asked me how i can do it, like if i took classes and got my degree on interracial dating? what the fuck? i think she saw my response, (because me and my siblings have a hard time hiding our reactions. heh.) and said that she wasn't trying to be rude, but she's never had any interest in it. ugh.

i date who i date. even growing up, i never had dreams of my latino/a partner picking me up in their arms and us having spicy sex on the beach. i never thought " i can't have a relationship with this person because they're white/black/api/etc" throughout the folks i've had relationships with. it was never a concern if my "family" would approve of my bi racial girlfriend or if my parents would accept me dating a black man. regardless if it's my blood family or my friends who i hold as family, if they don't accept the person i date because of their skin color, they're not in my life. i am not the type of girl to talk to anyone who is not accepting of my lifestyle. if you got issues with my partner being a different race than myself, you're not invited to the wedding ceremony. done. moving on from your igornant mind and energy...boo! :(

some people might think that i have internalized issues of my own heritage because i wouldn't wear a "latinas do it better" t-shirt. i am one proud mexican grrl!!! :) but i'll admit that when i see a shirt like this, i assume that it's talking on the sexual tip. i know this may not the case. but when i saw this shirt at olvera street, i had a image of a latina girl grabbing the shirt saying "fuck yeah we do it better!" and all her homegirls would hoot and holler, while her boyfriend gropes her ass and she decides to wear it over her top. don't act like i am crazy thinking that...y'all know LA chicas keep it real to the teeth? ;)

but i can talk about this until the cows come home. i also know this has a lot of other layers that i haven't really touched on. i can only speak from my experience too. so there? blug. :P

maybe we can all learn a thing or two about interracial dating with the smash film called "nothing like the holidys". john leguizamo takes home debra messing to his loud and "krazy" latino family. can she cope with their spicy way of life or will their relationship be over by christmas eve?!? you know by the christmas tree falling in the background that shit will be going down.

halfway home and jay leno

i've been back in los angeles for over 3 yrs and lately i've been feeling something isn't right. i have a job that pays the bills. i live in a cool studio in silver lake. i have a boyfriend that i love. i am going to evening classes at LACC and i'll be a full time student in Feb 2009. i am trying more to be social and it's been a tad difficult. only because i don't know how to meet folks besides going to a bar. i don't drink as much as i use to and my lifestyle has changed. sometimes the city of angeles can be such an isolating place. because of it's size, many sub communities exist. which is a great thing. :)

but i get frustrated at times because it takes more transit time to see my brother in whittier than taking the metrolink to see m.v.f. d'oh. i also take public transit all the time and i hardly run into anyone i know. most of my LA peeps have cars. one thing i like about the bay area was that you would see a familiar face once in a big while. i've been taking public transit and i hardly run into anyone or see a familiar face. it's very surreal.

but it's not that i am unhappy here at all. if i wasn't feeling this, i would of left back to the bay area once i quit babeland LA in 2007. i am still getting to know los angeles and all of its glory. but i know that LA isn't where i want to be in the way, way future. i think this is one of the reasons why i don't feel like LA is my true home because i am using it for transitional purposes only. i don't know where i'll be living in 2 yrs, but i know it won't be in los angeles. blah blah blah life. :P


but on a whole other tip...why in the fuck did NBC keep Jay Leno for 2009? the rosie variety show bombed so horribly and now this? jay leno can suck my brando vixen silicone dick. his jokes are always sexist, racist and so fucking lame!!! WTF for reals?

Stop saying you'll go gay for Rachel Maddow

OK. I was looking for a photo of her on photobucket and the first page came up with no photos of her at all. But this photo was first to show up and I had to put this...




Aren't they the cutest couple? I have to admit, this photo makes me wanna barf a little bit. OK. Back to business. :)



I have to admit that I became a bigger fan of Maddow after her show premiered on MSNBC. M.V.F has always talked about her because he listens to Air American all of the time and I have heard of her before. But I didn't realize how HOT she was until I started watching her show. Go figure. I love Maddow because she totally kicks ass when it comes to breaking down all types of politics. A lot of people think she's completely on the left and that's not really the case. She may seem like she's on the left because she asks questions to everyone, no matter what party they're affiliated with. She'll grill republicans, democrats, third party, men and women. She'll fuck you up with her knowledge and teach you a thing or two. Along with the fact that she has said publicly that she HATES wearing face makeup for her MSNBC show. That's fucking HOT! ;)

Since her show has been crazy successful, she's getting A LOT of publicity. Which is a good thing because she fucking rocks right? Her interview on Conan and Colbert Report were great. Her interview on Jay Leno was awkward along with the audience not responding to her political jokes, but she made the most of it. She's been written about in The Advocate, Bitch Magazine, New York Times, Out Magazine and a bunch of others magazines ad web sites. But one this that has annoyed the hell out of me are women who post comments saying "i'd go gay for maddow for sure!" and "i'm straight, but i would have sex with maddow"

These types of comments have been totally annoying me since she's made it big. Can't we live in a society where it doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is? Why even say you're straight, gay, lesbian, bi, etc? Can't we just say who we would crush out on without any kind of repercussions from our friends and family? Are those types of woman (which I am ASSUMING are of them are straight) totally rethinking their sexual orientation? Are their boyfriends watching where they comment and using it against them? Can you imagine that conversation?

Man: Hey honey. I saw that comment you left on Huffington Post earlier today about Rachel Maddow. Would you really go gay for her?

Woman: I think I would. She's cute.

Man: Hmmm. Do you think you like women since Maddow is a woman? I thought you were straight. Gee whiz, I don't think I know who you are anymore!?!?

Woman: I'm sorry. It was "gay" for me to say that. I only like men babe. Who reads the Huffington Post comments anyway?

*end scene*

I DO BITCH! This confidant bisexual lady reads your comments about how you would go gay for Maddow and then I realizes that people really sound like they're 12 yrs old when they leave comments like that. Many of the gays/lesbians I know in my life have crushes on guys/girls, but none of them never say they'll go straight for them. Because most of them know better than to sound like a dick. Because when either a straight guy/girl says "i would go gay for __________", they really sound like an idiot.

Can we all do our part and stop saying this type of shit? :P

frostie on my mind

this soda has been on my mind ever since i went with m.v.f. to galco's soda pop shop. if you haven't been there, you have to GO! this shop is classic LA at it's best.

http://losangeles.citysearch.com/profile/71749/los_angeles_ca/galco_s_old_world_grocery.html


this place sells soda pop, wine, beer, candy and they have a simple deli in the back. i have been told that their sandwiches are amazing. this place sells many sodas that you can't really find anywhere else. i felt like a kid in a candy store. matt recommended this one pop to me and i didn't really dig it at first for the fact that it's blue. i have a weird thing for anything that's not suppose to be blue, purple or a funky color. it took me a long time to eat blue m&ms. i know it's only food coloring, but still...it took awhile ok? :P

i didn't think that this blue soda was going to knock my socks off. i bought one, along with the list below....

1 dr pepper made with real sugar, like in the ol' days

1 moxie cherry cola (too much for my taste)

1 curiousity cola - best cola i ever tasted in my life!!!



1 plantation style mint julep soda - this was crazy...didn't love it...but it was pretty sweet. along with m.v.f. joking around, saying that he's been picking cotton all day and loved his plantation style mint julep soda. heh. :)




both m.v.f. and me left the soda pop shop like bandits with a bunch of soda pop. before we left, he insisted for me to try the blue cream soda. even though i was making fun of it's blue factor, since i never did have any blue soda at all in my life and felt 12 years old for a minute...i tried the frostie blue cream soda....

right with the first sip, i knew i was having the best cream soda in my life. everything about it was just right. the cream flavor, the crisp taste because it was in a glass bottle. it was the shit and i realized that i can really love more than one thing. :) i've been thinking about this soda for two weeks now i can't get it out of my head. i am driving myself crazy and i can't drink any other cream soda without frostie lingering in my mind.

we will meet again frostie. i can't wait to have you again. :)

falling

i remember trying to test him
i wanted to make him tick
i wanted to freak him out
queer chicana born and raised in SGV
i didn't want him assuming shit
about me
i didn't want to speak any truth
to his igorance of latina grrls
he never met a woman like me before
i never met such a gentleman
who open his car door for me on the first date
and made a comment saying that he did that
jester to all the girls in his life and asked if
i wouldn't take it the wrong way
and for the first time in my life
i didn't take it the wrong way at all
my guard wasn't down and i couldn't tell you why
he was a complete stranger
something in my gut told me that he was being honest
someone in my head was cheering for him from afar
i didn't know him at all, but yet i was ok with it
i wasn't expecting to meet anyone positive
i didn't know what to expect
he took me by surprise
i thought i was in love with someone else
i thought i was in love with someone else
i thought i was in love with a guy
who didn't feel the same
i cried for him for when
i got back to LA in 08/2005
whining, crying, i got depressed
and he REALLY didn't care
2006, i had a complete stranger
treating me to pie in los feliz
and opening the car door for me
along with having a heart of gold
straight 25 yr old black man from the IE
months later, walked with me
and my co workers at LBC Pride
passing out sex toys and wearing a company shirt
meeting my family and peeps and throughout
those moments, i felt like i knew him for yrs
now it's only been less that 3
he makes me happy in a way that
i never thought was humanly possible
we compliment each other
he make me a better person
i know that i have a future with him
the sheer though of that still freaks me out



r.r.r.

MTA and the LA Sherrifs

I LOVE Streetblog LA and their awesome posting about anything about LA's public transportation. I found this blog today and I found it rather interesting.

http://la.streetsblog.org/2008/11/14/metro-considering-temporary-renewal-of-sheriffs-contract/


First of all, I was shocked when I moved back to LA in August 2005 and witness the unnecessary sheriffs presence in the MTA red and especially blue lines. I've been riding both since I've been back and I can tell you that their presence is not welcomed or appreciated! I've seen the sheriffs being very condescending and fucked up to many folks. They even have fucking patrol dogs with them. Is that shit really necessary..I mean REALLY? I have also noticed that the sheriffs are ONLY located at where all black/latino are the majority. They aren't located anywhere on the Gold/Green line or any stops passed Hollywood/Vine of the red line.

For MTA to hire the LACS to ask people for their fare tickets and MTA not taking blame for their faulty admission to the Red/Blue/Green/Gold lines is fucking ridiculous. The LA County Sheriffs have already made themselves look bad recently arresting an innocent photographer at Pershing Square last week.

http://la.streetsblog.org/2008/11/10/bus-bench-blogger-arrested-for-taking-pictures-at-pershing-square/


I am starting to think that LA sheriffs are even more racist than the LAPD...and that's really saying a lot. When will MTA finally get their act together and do something productive about this. Doesn't it cost MTA more money to renew this sheriffs contract than to try another method?

I only hope folks show up to the mtg next week and speak their mind about the racism/classicism that the LA Sheriffs implement onto folks who are really just trying to get to work. Not every black/latino person getting on from the Compton Blue Line Station is trying to skip their fare! So get your fucking patrol dog off me already! Ugh.

r.r.r.

Finally got the internet up and running!!

I moved out in 1999 from my parents place and finally got the internet in my home! Good bye to all those gnarly internet cafes and using the internet at work. :) I can write what ever the hell I want without looking behind for a supervisor, a work narc or a crazy hollywood type person with a fake tan, locked in their own bubble of reality. ;)

It's very surreal to finally have this luxury. I keep logging out of certain web sites thinking I am at work or a cafe. I finally uploaded some recent photos of myself on my facebook/myspace profiles. I finally can email my family photos of them that I had in my camera for months. I can FINALLY get free music and porn. :) I can start a real blog about myself and my adventurous in LA and beyond.

I am going to use this blog to talk about local/national news, along with dashes of my personal life with peeps, family with discretion. Mostly more about what folks are talking about in society and what we should be talking about! :)

If you want to know more about myself, I included my "myspace" profile link and that really says it all. www.myspace.com/rachel80

I am a 28 yr old queer/bi chicana woman getting by in Los Angeles, CA. This is the jump off y'all....hope you're ready for it. :)


r.r.r.