falling

i remember trying to test him
i wanted to make him tick
i wanted to freak him out
queer chicana born and raised in SGV
i didn't want him assuming shit
about me
i didn't want to speak any truth
to his igorance of latina grrls
he never met a woman like me before
i never met such a gentleman
who open his car door for me on the first date
and made a comment saying that he did that
jester to all the girls in his life and asked if
i wouldn't take it the wrong way
and for the first time in my life
i didn't take it the wrong way at all
my guard wasn't down and i couldn't tell you why
he was a complete stranger
something in my gut told me that he was being honest
someone in my head was cheering for him from afar
i didn't know him at all, but yet i was ok with it
i wasn't expecting to meet anyone positive
i didn't know what to expect
he took me by surprise
i thought i was in love with someone else
i thought i was in love with someone else
i thought i was in love with a guy
who didn't feel the same
i cried for him for when
i got back to LA in 08/2005
whining, crying, i got depressed
and he REALLY didn't care
2006, i had a complete stranger
treating me to pie in los feliz
and opening the car door for me
along with having a heart of gold
straight 25 yr old black man from the IE
months later, walked with me
and my co workers at LBC Pride
passing out sex toys and wearing a company shirt
meeting my family and peeps and throughout
those moments, i felt like i knew him for yrs
now it's only been less that 3
he makes me happy in a way that
i never thought was humanly possible
we compliment each other
he make me a better person
i know that i have a future with him
the sheer though of that still freaks me out



r.r.r.